He Moves Mountains

We don't want to let people down, especially those we love. It makes us feel bad and unworthy of their time, love and effort. So, we know that God is perfect and wants us to also be perfect (Matthew 5:48), but we can't be perfect. For me, it's really discouraging to know that I am always failing, always letting Him down. I read The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer and in the back of the book was a condensed little biography about him. Reading about him, how he was devoted to God and only God; how everything else took a backseat, I told myself that that was what I wanted to be like. I wanted my life to be all about Jesus and absolutely nothing else (which is incredibly unrealistic considering that I live on social media). So, as I'm sure you've predicted, I did fall short of that standard. I hated myself everytime I sinned and fell short and thought to myself "if I can't be perfect, then this isn't worth it!" Which is incredibly embaressing but here we ...

I love God and I love spending time in His presence: listening to worship music, journaling, writing, painting, but I struggle with prayer. I am fully aware that the key to a good relationship is communication, but I tend to avoid prayer any way I can. The fact that God already knows what I'm going to say and what I need makes me wonder what is the point of telling Him; it seems like a waste of time. I have a list of people and situation to pray for, but it feels so repetitive that I dread it. or sometimes, I'll lay in bed, half asleep, and tell God "You know who I always pray for," as though I walked into a coffee shop and asked for my usual. But talking to God should not be a chore - Jesus died on the cross and the curtain that separated us from direct communication with God was ripped in half. We have constant, direct access to God. We can talk to Him about anything, from anywhere, and we are taking that for granted every single day. Talking to God may be uncomfort...