My Struggle with Prayer
I love God and I love spending time in His presence: listening to worship music, journaling, writing, painting, but I struggle with prayer. I am fully aware that the key to a good relationship is communication, but I tend to avoid prayer any way I can.
The fact that God already knows what I'm going to say and what I need makes me wonder what is the point of telling Him; it seems like a waste of time. I have a list of people and situation to pray for, but it feels so repetitive that I dread it. or sometimes, I'll lay in bed, half asleep, and tell God "You know who I always pray for," as though I walked into a coffee shop and asked for my usual.
But talking to God should not be a chore - Jesus died on the cross and the curtain that separated us from direct communication with God was ripped in half. We have constant, direct access to God. We can talk to Him about anything, from anywhere, and we are taking that for granted every single day.
Talking to God may be uncomfortable - there's nothing saying it wouldn't be - but if we want a relationship with Him, we need to talk.
My mom says that every relationship is a 'two way street' which may not be the best analogy (sorry mom :() but what it means is that for a relationship to work, both people need to make an effort. God's already done that, so now it's your turn.
Facts over feelings
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Jeremiah 17:9
Our feelings change constantly and sometimes with seemingly no rhyme or reason, so why should we place all this trust on shifting sands? If you try to structure things based on your feelings or you rely solely on your feelings for guidance, it will not work. You cannot lean on your feelings because they are always changing.
The only thing that doesn't change is God and His promises.
He promises to hear our prayers, so we never have to worry that our words.
"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. " 1 Peter 3:12
He promises that He is with us always, so we never have to worry that we go unnoticed.
"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20
He wants to hear from us and He wants us to pray.
"Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication." Ephesians 6:17
Jesus tells us that prayer is a way to overcome temptation.
"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is wiling, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41
God loves you and wants to spend time with you. He's not a God who is cold and strict, who only wants you to speak in 16th century English. He wants to hear about your day, about what you did, what you learned. He's your Saviour, Father and Creator, but He's also your Friend.
And when it feels uncomfortable, you can always ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26,27
Tips
Before I pray, I ask the Holy Spirit to help me, then spend a little time reading my Bible. I have sticky notes with all the things I pray for on my door. They're lower down so I sit on the ground or kneel while I pray. It feels more intentional this way, when you have a designated space you go to.
I do find it repetitive always praying for the same people in the same order, so I've started choosing a category every night and instead of quickly running through the list, I choose a few sticky notes and put more effort into it.
I've learned that prayer is empowering and strengthening and essential to life, so instead of just praying through my sticky notes every night, I have a notebook where I write a quick prayer every morning; I surrender anything I need to, I ask for strength, that my family would get along and that I would keep my eyes fixed on Him.
There's a podcast called Coffee And Bible Time that I adore. An older episode of theirs is about prayer and their mom said something that I think about a lot. She said you cannot divorce prayer from Bible study. The two go hand-in-hand. So as I'm reading my Bible, I try to pray through it as well. Or before I do any sort of writing, I take a moment to ask for understanding and clarity.
Prayer is essential in life and we must practice it every day, like training for a race, you have to strengthen the muscles.
"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you." Jeremiah 29:12
